Mother Lion

Foster, growing-up, parenting January 7, 2012 Leave a comment
Foster age 7 (at Aunt Lele’s house)

For January, we have had a few really warm days this week.  My kids LOVE playing outside.  Foster has had 2 of his neighbor friends come over and jump on the trampoline and wrestle and chase and do all that fun boy stuff with him the past couple of days. It makes me really happy to see him happy, hanging out with his friends.  But today, when we got in the van, he started to tell me that his friends had been calling him names, being really rough with punches, spit on him, kept his shoes from him after I told him to get ready to go, and blocked him from coming in the house.  He is not a tattle-tale kind of kid.  So when his lip was quivering and his eyes starting to water, I knew it had to have been bad.  I felt like a mother lion. All of a sudden I had this surge of anger, I wanted to go over and let those boys have it.  I tried to remain calm and asked Foster if he would mind if I called their mom.  Surprisingly, he said that he thought I should.  I told him they need a chance to teach them not to act like that.  I hurt for him, they are 2 of his closest buddies. The phone call was well-received.

When I took Katie to a all girl birthday party this evening I remembered another “mother lion” moment in my past.  I was on the other end of things though.

When I was in middle school I had a TON of slumber parties.  I’m not sure why my parents indulged me with them, maybe because my brother hadn’t come along yet and I was still an only child.  They would allow me to invite 8-12 girls at a time! I was not in the “popular” crowd in middle school. I was, however, only one level lower, which meant that I could still invite the popular girls and they would come as their own clique. I also invited girls who were actually my friends, some from my huge neighborhood or from my classes.  One particular party, the “popular” girls got to my house and asked if a girl named Katie would be there.  I told them yes.  The problem was they didn’t like her.  The next 15 minutes was a blur, it all happened so fast.  The doorbell rings and one of the girls answers the door. Katie is there. The girl yells at Katie “THERE’S NO PARTY HERE! GO HOME!” laughs, and shuts the door in her face. Just a few minutes later the doorbell rings again and I answer, wanting to tell Katie that I am sorry and explain what happened.  Well, it wasn’t Katie. It was her mom.  She started yelling at me and the main thing I will always remember is her saying “I AM LIKE A MOTHER LION WHEN IT COMES TO MY CHILD.” I thought then that I understood what she meant. I didn’t. Not then. But I do now.

Liar, liar, pants on fire…

faith, growing-up January 6, 2012 Leave a comment
Foster age 3 1/2

“La la la…I can’t hear you.”

I often wish that I could do this.  I have hurt and been hurt by words all my life.

For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind.  But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
                                                                                                                      James 3:7-8

A little over a year and a half ago I had a very close friend say some things to me that I would have NEVER imagined.  I would have bet money that she would have never thought those things about me, let alone put them in an email and hit send.  But that’s what happens. I have had a lot of time to grieve, process, heal from that situation. God has used that time to show me how I too have been guilty of damaging relationships with words.

I had a best friend in college who dated this guy. They were on again, off again, with him usually being the cheater and hurting my friend.  Well, she and I were roommates and when he called and left messages on our answering machine I would delete them. And no, I did not tell her that he called.
I hated what he was doing to her so I tried to control the situation.  What I was doing though was deceiving my best friend and disrespecting her right to make her own decisions.  She found out, of course, and was angry and hurt.  What hurt most of all was that she could see me for what I really was – a liar.

Scripture says we can’t “tame” our tongue.  I have found that in my own walk with Christ I have struggled heavily in this area.  Whether it’s deceit or keeping quiet, I have relied on God to change me and mold me. I am so thankful that He doesn’t just see me as a liar, but as His child who needs loving correction.

 

"That’s a tomato."

humor, parenting, Theodore January 5, 2012 Leave a comment
I think 4 year old boys are pretty special.  They aren’t toddlers anymore but they aren’t quite big kids.  Theodore is almost 4 and 1/2 now and he changes so much every day.  His behavior has improved drastically.  He’s not having to get as many consequences and he is starting to ask for what he calls “hard school work.” He can identify his numbers and count to ten.  He knows over half the alphabet and is starting to try and trace/draw letters and shapes.  The changes have been pretty dramatic in the past 4 months.
Tonight at dinner we were having taco soup.  The conversation went like this…
Theodore (as he picked up one ingredient on his spoon) “What is this?”
Me  “That’s a bean.”
Theodore  “Oh, I like beans.”
Me  “Good. I’m glad you do.”
Theodore  “What’s this?”
Me  “That’s a tomato.”
Theodore (after a slight pause)  “A tornado? Like the thing that picks up your house and swirls it around?”
Me  “No, a tomato.”
Katie  “Is a tomato a vegetable or a fruit?”
Daddy  “Well that’s up for debate.”
Good grief. You can get really tired around here just from one meal. I actually told my kids that they had to eat breakfast this morning without asking me any questions. It was so peaceful.

To spank or not to spank…

parenting, Toddlers January 3, 2012 Comments: 2

To spank or not to spank? That is the question.  Well, for parents it’s the question. One of the big ones.  There have been several child abuse related deaths in the news lately and one author of a parenting book has come under fire.  Their names are Michael and Debi Pearl and their book is To Train Up A Child.

I was really surprised to turn on the Today show last week and see that they were being blamed for at least 3 child abuse related deaths.  The connection being that the parents’ who abused and killed their children had that book on their shelves.

Ummm….I have that book.  I have read that book and actually have lent it out and recommended to a few friends (who have not abused or murdered their children). I picked it up in Florida at a little Creationism dinosaur museum when Foster was 4, Katie 3 and Theodore 14 mos.  I could really appreciate the scripture and practical ideas in this book.  And I am sure I have used some of their methods over the past 3 years.
But – here’s the thing.  I was already spanking, using time-outs, etc. before I ever read that book.  I had read several parenting books, secular and Christian, by that time and Chris and I had come up with our own parenting style and methods of discipline.  I can remember the first time I had to spank Foster, it really broke my heart, but in my opinion was necessary. 

Chris was deployed to Columbia, Foster was 18 mos. old and I was 7 mos. pregnant with Katie.  I had already begun putting him in the “naughty spot” (Supernanny anyone?) But this day he was refusing to get buckled into his car seat. You know how they do, when they buck up and turn into stiff little straight boards and therefore you can’t get that lovely 5 point harness to snap. I started to try to smoosh him in by pushing on this stomach but then he would just howl louder and buck up more.  It was, I am sure, a ridiculous sight to behold, me with my huge belly bent in the door of our little station wagon, trying to convince a squirmy, screaming toddler into this device which was meant for his safety but was causing me to almost harm him in the process.  So I took a deep breath, took him out, pulled down his pants and whacked him 2 good licks on the leg right below his diaper. I told him in a stern tone, “It’s time to get in your seat.” And he did. Of course, he cried and sniffled but he GOT IN THE SEAT! I was so proud of my young mommy self. 

You know what though? We rarely had to ever spank Foster.  That’s just his personality, time-outs worked with him.  And Katie was/is very sensitive, so a harsh tone is usually enough with her.  Theodore is a different story and so is Parker.  Every child is so different in personality and temperament that as parents we have to continuously change how we handle things. Not inconsistency, but flexibility.  I can’t take another parent’s, doctor’s or pastor’s advice so literally or to the extreme that I damage the relationship with my own child.

This attack on Michael and Debi Pearl and their book reminds me of the lawsuits people have filed against fast food chains for making them fat.  It’s called personal responsibility.  No one is putting a gun to your head and making you eat one more Big Mac and no one, except the parents themselves, abused those children to death.

Big Momma

faith, Jonah January 3, 2012 1 Comment

Even though I have been pregnant 5 times in the past 7 1/2 years there are not a whole lot of pictures of me actually being pregnant. Part of that is because I’m the mommy and that’s who is usually taking the pictures and another part of that is because I looked like this…

 This was very close to the end of my 5th pregnancy. I know. HUGE. I was huge and I look even more giant since Katie (age 6) was the photographer and so I look like a giant with a monster belly! At first I thought about deleting this picture, it is not at all flattering, but then I realized that huge belly carried my sweet Jonah!

I don’t know if you can make it out but that scale says 6 lbs. 13.5 oz. They wrote him down as 6 lbs 14 oz.  So what I had here was the smallest baby I had ever had and the biggest belly I had ever had.  Doesn’t seem right does it?

Yes, I get down about my weight. I would love to lose some, feel more comfortable in my clothes, not look 4 months pregnant.  But I’ve also got to keep things in perspective. 

I have a healthy baby boy. He’s nursing well, gaining weight, already rolling over and smiling and cooing.

I have close friends who have suffered from miscarriage and have heard many stories recently of pregnancies ending in a stillborn baby or severe birth defects. 

Perspective. Appreciating how God has blessed me again and not complaining and focusing on the negative. I have so much to be thankful for as we enter this new year.

Happy New Year!

holiday January 2, 2012 Leave a comment
It’s the first day of 2012! This morning in church the pastor spoke about gratitude. He gave several examples of people in the bible that had gone through good and bad times and had all arrived at a place in their lives where they were incredibly blessed and were probably saying “Who am I Lord that you would bless me this way?”
Who am I that God would bless me so? I continually fail Him but He loves me anyway. I see the way He cared for me in 2011 and I pray that I will acknowledge His handiwork in my life in 2012.
I always say that I am not going to make resolutions but I do make them, in my head. I just don’t like to say them out loud or put them on paper (or blog) because then there is an accountability there.  And who likes accountability?

So here goes…my 2012 New Year’s Resolutions…

1) Read 12 books of the Bible from start to finish.
2) Exercise and lose weight.
3) Blog. Every day. 365 post for 2012.

My motivations…

1) To understand God’s truth.
2) To feel better physically and have all those nice clothes in my closet fit again.
3) To have all those memories written down.

I am pretty excited to see where God takes me this year.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.                                              Proverbs 3: 5&6

Merry Christmas!

holiday December 27, 2011 1 Comment

Imagine

choices, homeschooling December 20, 2011 Comments: 2

The Road Not Taken

By: Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could


To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;


Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.


Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh


Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

As 2011 comes to a close, my husband and I are spending a lot of time talking and reminiscing on people and events that have passed in our lives.  The other night as our 4 kids screamed and played in the other room and I sat in the living room and nursed our new baby, Chris said to me “Imagine if we had stopped having children after Foster and Katie. We wouldn’t have Theodore. We wouldn’t have Parker. We wouldn’t have Jonah.”

And that got me thinking…

Imagine if I hadn’t given my life to Christ when I did.
Imagine if I hadn’t married this wonderful, faithful, hilarious, passionate man.
Imagine if I had decided to work outside the home.
Imagine if I had sent my sweet 5 year old away to be taught by others.

I feel as though I have taken the road less travelled and I do believe that when I come to the end of my days, that I will be able to say “…And that has made all the difference.”

The way He cares

baby August 20, 2011 Comments: 2

God is so amazing. In the big things that are obvious, like the new life He has been forming inside of me.  But what amazes and thrills my heart even more are the little ways He shows His love and care.  Each time we have had a child I have just passed along most or all of our baby clothes, gear, etc. I don’t keep stuff. We have some of the baby gear that they use for long periods of time like high chair, car seat, etc.  But the smaller things I just move out to someone else who needs it or sell it for things we need more at the time. After baby #4, Parker, we were pretty sure we had completed adding to our family.  Well, God had other plans for us and we are so excited about adding a new member to our crew. 

Ever since I found out I was pregnant again, I have been overwhelmed at the way people have been so generous with their stuff.  I have had maternity clothes, a swing, 2 woombies, NB onesies, etc. passed my way.  Since we don’t find out the sex of the baby until he or she arrives, I just sort of settle on a neutral theme.  With this baby it has been a brown and green trend that started with baby’s bed.  I haven’t registered for those colors or told anyone that, but guess what colors the woombies I received were? You got it, brown and green.  Oh and a nursing cover, green/blue with brown.  And today in the mail from a friend who is delivering twins anytime now – a diaper bag she bought and then decided she didn’t need.  She didn’t have pictures when she offered it to me but I needed one and didn’t really care what it looked like. 

So the way He cares blows my mind.  The diaper bag is EXACTLY what I would have chosen if I could just go out and buy one.  It’s the perfect size. Brown with green accent colors.  Brand new and free to me.  I know that for some people this wouldn’t be that big of a deal but if you think of searching for just the right gift to give your husband or wife or your child, you try really hard, right?  I mean especially for Christmas or birthdays you just want to get them something that says “I know you, I love you, I want you to be happy”

That’s the way He cares for me!!!!  He does know the desires of our heart. He does know His plans for our life are better than what we consider “good”.  He does know the number of the hairs on our head and the comfort of that is beyond explanation!

Parker’s Two!

Parker July 14, 2011 1 Comment

July 13th, 2009 we were blessed with another healthy baby boy.  The funny thing is I really thought he would be a girl, I kind of wanted him to be a girl since we had Foster, Katie and Theodore.  It would have been so nice and orderly…boy, girl, boy, girl. I know, I’m a dork, but I really like things that are orderly.  However, God’s idea of order is much different than mine and He knew best when he added Parker to our family.

He is the sweetest little guy. He loves to cuddle on my lap, especially right after he first wakes up in the morning or from his afternoon nap. He is starting to talk and loves his Thomas trains. Foster and Katie enjoy playing with and taking care of him, Theodore will play with him but being closer in age they tend to end up screaming over the same toys.  He has a fairly laid back personality and hasn’t struggled with moving to his “big boy” bed or with going to time-out for hitting or disobeying (so far).  This age to me is difficult because of the chasing but so wonderful because of the new things he does and says every day! One of Parker’s claims to fame at this point is that he got to turn 2 before the next baby came along! None of the other kids can say that!

Yesterday, we just celebrated small with Chick-fil-A, friends and at the splash pad. His family dinner, cake and presents are coming up – so some fun cake pics are on the way!