This throw-back Thursday is dedicated to the ghetto pool and the years where we were basically drowning in littles. Good thing we have some pictures because it’s pretty much a blur.
"Love is unselfishly choosing for another's highest good." – C.S. Lewis
My parents’ generosity allowed the kids and I to experience another adventure. We left 2 days after Thanksgiving and made the 9 hour trip in their RV to stay at Grayton Beach State Park. This park has a lot of restrictions like no pets on the beach, no walking on the dunes, that kind of thing. Also, you either pay to stay in the campground or you pay by car to visit for the day. The restrictions didn’t bother us and we were thankful for the pristine, peaceful beaches. It was the prettiest beach I’ve ever visited. Even on the weekend days, there were maybe 30 other people around. Filled with plenty of places to bike and walk nature trails, it was an excellent destination for people who aren’t looking for a lot of partying or shopping. There was a Publix close enough and some small little shops around but it wasn’t overgrown or overcrowded. Of course, we were there in December so that could have a lot to do with it. We lucked out and had 3 days that were above 75 degrees. While back home our friends and family were virtually floating away from inches and inches of rain. The last day there the rain caught up to us, so we decided to watch the new Peanuts movie at a local theater.
The kids had a wonderful time. And I enjoyed being with the people I love most in the world. But, I missed Chris (he was bear hunting and working). I also missed personal space, quiet and solitude. With 8 people (5 of them under the age of 12) in an RV you don’t have much of that. Being an introvert has its challenges.
One night after a date with my husband, I came home to these pictures on my camera. I have to say, when someone else takes great pictures on your camera for you to find later, it’s almost like a little surprise gift! I am so thankful for our new home, our new quiet street that the kids are scooting and biking on all the time and for our two beautiful (inside and out) babysitters.
At our moving sale the other day the kids and Grammy set up a table of the bracelets, potholders and cookies they had made to try and earn some more money for their ministry, H.C.I.N. We really didn’t have much business so they didn’t get many customers but they did come away from the experience with a few life lessons and the recipients of some blessings. Here are a few of the highlights:
1) The lesson of patience: They have been waiting for months for us to have some kind of a yard sale so they could set up an H.C.I.N. table. In preparation, the kids and Grammy would have endless conversations about what kind of cookies they should make, if they should sell drinks, how much they should ask for the potholders and jewelry they were making, etc.
2) The lesson of planning: The kids recently used almost all of their H.C.I.N. funds to purchase 2 new backpacks and fill them with school supplies for needy children in our area. Because of that, when it came time to buy the supplies to make cookies they found themselves a little short. They didn’t actually count the money before they went into the store with Grammy.
3) Receiving a blessing: When they got to the checkout and realized they were short on cash, they started to count out their coins. An elderly gentleman who was in line behind them gave the cashier 5 dollars to help them pay the total. After Grammy explained what they were doing with the supplies, he told her and the kids about a ministry he had been involved in up north.
4) Receiving a blessing: A lady who stopped by the yard sale gave them 5 dollars (one for each of them) just because she wanted to donate. They were so excited and kept saying “Mommy, she gave FIVE DOLLARS for NOTHING!”
Giving our children the freedom to create and run H.C.I.N. has taught them so much more than I ever would have imagined! They have even decided who will hold what official title and position. Grammy is Director of Operations, Foster is the President and Katie is the Vice-President. I haven’t been told to which responsibilities Theodore, Parker and Jonah will be assigned.
Our to-do list seems really long right now. We’re trying to get the new house ready by painting and cleaning, buying essentials. By essentials, I mean a refrigerator, not curtains. We are packing at the old house and selling a lot of STUFF.
I’m not sure what feels so freeing about selling stuff. It isn’t the cash coming in that makes it such a great feeling. Well, that’s part of it, but you can’t get to hung up on it because you aren’t going to get even a fraction of what you paid, what it’s worth or what you “feel” it should be worth. In fact, I feel grateful when people will come unload this stuff out of my life and I get space and cash where it used to be. I have figured out that the simplicity of having less stuff is what is really freeing.
Psychologically, when I go to the new house and the walls are freshly painted and the furniture is sparse and there isn’t something piled in every corner, my soul breathes a big sigh of relief. I’ve always known that I love to be organized. What I am learning as I get older is it’s not an anal retentive kind of “everything has to be so-so” kind of organized. It’s a less-is-more kind of organized.
Here’s the rub…I have 5 children and a husband, and currently 6 mounted deer heads (we’ll consider those our pets). So while I may function better, have more peace of mind in a less-is-more world, my big family can make that a challenge. Even if each of the 7 of us (the deer heads don’t actually take more than wall space) have only a little that is “ours” and “ours” alone that adds up to a lot.
Here are some ways that I am striving to keep more balance in the amount of STUFF we have:
1. Toys. I actually have been very selective from the moment I had my first baby on what we will keep around. I try to avoid toys that have a limited amount of ways to play with it. There are only so many things you can do with a 2 foot tall, singing, dancing Elmo. I know those kids on the commercials look like they are having a blast, but remember how long commercials are? Yeah, that’s about the length of the entertainment value. Along with that I try to avoid things that have batteries, a charger, or need any kind of electricity. For one, batteries are expensive and it’s almost impossible to explain to a 2 year old why Elmo just won’t sing and dance anymore. What I do try to keep around are toys that have multiple uses. In our home, we have plenty of Legos, wood blocks, costumes, toy weapons, matchbox cars, trains, cooking toys, dollhouse and supplies, play-do, arts and crafts and books.
2. Clothes. This one is more difficult. In the past, I have tried to keep our hand-me-downs that were from our family or given to us by someone. I will also find really great deals at yard sales and consignment sales that are hard to pass up. But, I’ve come to realize that God always provides what we need, when we need it. It never ceases to amaze me how God cares about the details of our lives. I need to keep a detailed record of what we actually spend one year to clothe and put shoes on these kids. I think it would be amazing to look back and see how little we have had to spend. For now, I’m trying to limit the number of shirts, shorts, etc. each child has in their drawers. This helps us need less dresser space (and less huge dressers).
3. Kitchen and household. How many pots and pans does one family need? Within the past couple of years we’ve been handed down a lot of kitchen ware and household items. While I try to be thankful and keep it around “just in case” I have had to just pass most of it along by donating it or selling it.
It’s hard to let go of furniture, especially if it’s nice furniture but this is a big one. Lots of furniture means less space to just lay on the floor and play a game or wrestle with Daddy. If I ever want more square footage in a home, this is why, I just need some space. So if our house is a little smaller for while then we’ll just sell some furniture. (Or beg my mom and dad to store it at their house!)
4. Electronic gadgets. Sigh. Even though we only have one TV, and limited electronics as a family, this feels like a never-ending battle. Screen time and all that it sucks out of life are something I try to balance for my kids and myself. I’m sure there’s some deeper stuff there that I need to figure out. In the meantime, I try not to give away too much space to all those little gadgets.
As I write this, the irony of it hits me.
I am so rich, living in such a rich country that I actually have a problem with having too much stuff. I am thankful for that problem. I am thankful that it’s not trying to find food, clean water or a safe, place to shelter my children.
I recently wrote this post. When I wrote it we were house hunting and hoping to buy a house. Well, it turns out God has opened another door for us. We received a generous offer from a relative to rent a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house for less than someone could rent a studio apartment.
After giving it much prayer and consideration and weighing the pros and cons, we have decided to take them up on the offer! So now we are in the process of cleaning at the “new” house so we can pack up and move.
On the surface, some might say that this move is not a good one. Because we aren’t buying, we are not investing money into a home but are continuing to “throw money away” on rent. Because it is smaller, we’ll have to get rid of some STUFF. Because the whole point is to save money, we will be as frugal as possible with updating and decorating.
I guess I’m just weird. I am so thankful that we will be paying less rent. That it will help us as Chris goes back to school. As we feed all these littles and provide an education for them.
I grew up in a very comfortable home, in a super comfortable neighborhood (it had it’s own pool).
But, I had several relatives who did not live as comfortably as I did. They didn’t have nice, basement ranchers and living rooms that were filled with furniture that no one ever sat on.
I have not been on international mission trips, I’ve never even left the country. What I have seen and what I do know is that my cousin would rummage through the dumpster at her trailer park for new treasures.
I know that the girls who came to live at Blount County Children’s Home often came with their belongings in a black trash bag. That their parents couldn’t pay the gas money to come pick them up for visitation.
I know there are children and families within a mile from me RIGHT NOW who will go to bed hungry tonight.
I know there are children and families across the world from me RIGHT NOW who will sleep in the dirt, who will not have clean water to drink or bathe in, who will be lucky if they get ONE meal today.
So am I thankful that my family gets to live in an outdated, smaller house? Ummm, yeah.
And am I so proud that I have a husband who would rather do things God’s way than try and kill himself and us to achieve the AMERICAN DREAM? Ummm, yeah. I am.
We could be drowning in debt. We could both be working 60 hour weeks. We could be paying car payments and $200 cable bills.
But, INSTEAD I think we’ll play board games with our kids. And I think we’ll keep paying our tithe first. And then we’ll keep seeing how God blesses us when we serve Him and do things His way.
Thanks.
We went super simple this year with an afternoon, backyard party. Family, friends, chocolate cupcakes (Parker’s only request), ice cream and water play. Parker is a hilarious little kid. You never know what he’s going to say next. Last week at VBS he told the workers that we don’t have a washing machine and I wash all our clothes by hand. Yep, that’s me – supermom of the year! He’s a sweet, cuddly little boy a good part of the time. Then there’s the times where he’s trying to figure out his place in the world, and that means lots of screaming and crying and tantrum throwing. Each time we have a child go through this stage we think “this one is the worst at this age” but he’s not, he’s just Parker. And I am just so thankful that he is healthy, smart and adorable.