Getting ready for 2016

CASA, children, choices, motherhood, Photo365, priorities, reading, writing December 27, 2015 Leave a comment

2016 is almost here and I’m excited!

Personally, I’ll be challenging myself to continue to add balance to my life. Somehow, when I began to have children and then decided to stay home and educate them myself, I made a dangerous trade-off.

Not only did my husband and I decide to become a one income family but I lost something much more valuable than a paycheck. I lost myself.

This is a risk for all mothers, I believe. Whether they mean for it to happen or not. Some women pride themselves in throwing their all into their children’s lives, thinking and feeling like their children and their husband should always be first and be given the focus of ALL their energy and time. I did this at first. I decided to stop pursuing a career in the social work world to instead stay home and raise my first baby boy.

I have never regretted my decision. Our family grew quickly, five babies in 7 and a half years and I was BUSY. Busy with nursing babies and changing diapers, chasing toddlers and teaching preschoolers. Busy learning how to home educate. Busy learning how to be married when the shiny and new wears off and the hard, lean, trying years crowd out romance and time together.

In all that busyness, I did forget to add in a little margin for myself. I let old friendships die, I stopped reading almost completely, I did not write my thoughts or my favorite quotes anymore. I did not go out to eat with a friend and sit and talk for hours on a regular basis. I did not ask for what I needed, I did not seek out ways I could continue to fight for children in foster care and meet the needs of a population I feel most called to help.

I let it all get lost and while I can (and have over the years) blame circumstances and my husband and others for this, the responsibility lies with me. This TED talk really sums up the gist of it. It is up to me to get what I want.

If I want to read, I need to take the time and let the people around me know that it is a priority. If I want to write, I need to do just sit down and write. I have participated in and won NaNoWriMo 2014 and 2015 and that has done wonders for me. In 2015, I challenged myself to read 48 books. I won’t make it to 48, not for lack of trying but because my spinal fusion recovery caused me to miss more reading time than I planned. I am on my 43rd book of the year so I feel like I’ve still accomplished a lot!

Deciding to fight for my health, to fight against my own fear of surgery and the feeling of “who will do it all if I’m out of commission for that long”. Making the decision to have spinal fusion surgery – that was another accomplishment for 2015.

So why I am so excited for 2016?

First, I’ll be adding a photography challenge to my current reading and writing challenges. I know NOTHING (a big, fat zero percent) about photography. All I know is that when I look at some of my talented friends’ photos, I am inspired to be creative.

My children are always asking me, “What do you get if you win?” They aren’t very impressed when I explain that I just get the satisfaction of knowing I’ve done it!

Second, I’ll be training and working as a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) volunteer again. I did this for a short time when I left the Blount County Children’s Home in 2002. I am so passionate about this organization and advocating for children. I can’t wait to get started!

And last but not least, I turn 40 this year. I plan to celebrate the whole year, but so that I don’t drive everyone around me crazy, I’ll try to limit the blatant celebrating to the month of April.

children, homeschooling, imagination, siblings, Uncategorized, unschooling December 9, 2015 1 Comment

A few days ago, a giant box arrived with a Christmas gift for the kids. Foster spied it outside first and called “dibs” so he could have the first shot at playing with it. So I when it was emptied, I respected his “dibs” and gave it to him alone. As you can see from the pictures above, he didn’t keep it to himself for long. He realized quickly that playing alone isn’t as much fun as designing a tank and fighting a war with fellow soldiers. They all had their roles to play. Katie helped with the tank design and decoration, Foster used his knife to carve holes for the front guns, Jonah and Parker had missile launchers so they could walk alongside or behind the tank. Theodore was allowed to drive the tank with Foster. I’m not sure what their exact jobs were once they were navigating the battlefield.

I shared one of these pictures on social media yesterday with the hashtags imagination and homeschooling. I should have added siblings to the mix.

Recently, our decision to homeschool has once again been questioned. Even after 8 years and obvious success, there are naysayers who either don’t approve or just really don’t understand.

So when I labeled the picture #homeschooling, I wanted to double check myself. Was this 3+ hours of experimental, imaginative, building, teamwork play able to happen because we homeschool? Couldn’t any 5 siblings ages 4-11 have an experience like this?

The answer is no. While it is possible they could, it is not likely. Children, once grouped with peers for a number of years, do not “play” with much younger children and they have less tolerance and patience with their younger siblings.

Foster and Katie have their patience tested multiple times daily by the three younger brothers. The reason they persevere is because these three younger brothers are also their most common companions and playmates. They don’t have to just deal with them for 3 hours at night and then escape them to be with their same-age classmates for the majority of their days. They have an internal motivation to get along with each other.

The other reason this is not likely to happen is because time is finite. Our schoolwork is usually done by noon. This gives ample free time for this kind of creative play. Unfortunately, not only are kids in school all day following a tight schedule, they are often times overscheduled afterschool with sports, music lessons, church activities and more.

If there is no unscheduled, being at home with nothing to do time, then children won’t have the opportunity to turn a heap of cardboard into a tank, a yard into a battlefield and brothers into an army.

 

Why do we do what we do?

choices December 8, 2015 Leave a comment

Have you ever had therapy? Not physical therapy. Emotional therapy. Counseling?

I personally think that every individual needs counseling. I would make it mandatory before college. Then I would encourage you to go a few times during college. Definitely before marriage and several times during marriage.

I would say that couples should have counseling before starting a family, and then many times after you’ve added those children to your lives.

Maybe you’ve never been to counseling? You might have some preconceived ideas that make you a little wary of the whole process. I hate to tell you, you’re probably wrong.

First of all, if you’ve never been you may think you don’t need counseling. Well, you’re wrong. You’re messed up.

You need therapy. I’m not sure how it happened to you. You lost your favorite stuffed toy when you were 4-years-old and now you are afraid of life taking away all that is precious and secure to you.

You were locked out of the house after you came home past curfew and now you have trust issues with people in authority.

Your first boss fired you for no good reason and now you have an unhealthy compulsion to constantly prove yourself in the workplace.

Did you figure it out yet? Why do you overreact? Why do you get depressed? Why can’t you calm down? Why can’t you just sit and be bored with nothing to do without feeling like your skin is crawling?

This is why we all need therapy. Do yourself a favor and find a therapist. Go by yourself, go with your spouse, go with your kid. Whatever. The beauty is that the therapist doesn’t even have to be all that good. You’ll see. You’re the one who’s going to be doing all the hard work.

Just go. Because we seriously aren’t supposed to be able to do this all alone. There are people out there who are trained to help you get to the bottom of it. They’ll listen and they’ll talk. They’ll ask you hard questions and make you cry. They’ll compliment you and encourage you and give you great advice. Then they’ll give you really bad advice that you’ll ignore, but the advice will be so bad you’ll come up with a better solution on your own.

You’ll come away with ideas that you can continue to apply at different times in your life. Ones that help you focus and gain balance, ones that can help put everything back in perspective.

The last counselor I had gave me one of those great questions.

Ask yourself, “Why do we do what we do?”

Meaning, why are you making the choices you’re making? Why do you homeschool? Why do you work where you work? Why do you parent the way you parent? Why do you spend your money the way you spend your money? Or spend your time the way you spend your time?

If you can’t answer these questions…well, guess where you should go?

 

Grayton Beach 2015

adventures, blessings, children, Family, field trip, Grammy, Grandad, gratitude, homeschooling, unschooling, vacation December 4, 2015 Leave a comment

My parents’ generosity allowed the kids and I to experience another adventure. We left 2 days after Thanksgiving and made the 9 hour trip in their RV to stay at Grayton Beach State Park. This park has a lot of restrictions like no pets on the beach, no walking on the dunes, that kind of thing. Also, you either pay to stay in the campground or you pay by car to visit for the day. The restrictions didn’t bother us and we were thankful for the pristine, peaceful beaches. It was the prettiest beach I’ve ever visited. Even on the weekend days, there were maybe 30 other people around. Filled with plenty of places to bike and walk nature trails, it was an excellent destination for people who aren’t looking for a lot of partying or shopping. There was a Publix close enough and some small little shops around but it wasn’t overgrown or overcrowded. Of course, we were there in December so that could have a lot to do with it. We lucked out and had 3 days that were above 75 degrees. While back home our friends and family were virtually floating away from inches and inches of rain. The last day there the rain caught up to us, so we decided to watch the new Peanuts movie at a local theater.

The kids had a wonderful time. And I enjoyed being with the people I love most in the world. But, I missed Chris (he was bear hunting and working). I also missed personal space, quiet and solitude. With 8 people (5 of them under the age of 12) in an RV you don’t have much of that. Being an introvert has its challenges.

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NaNoWriMo 2015

Uncategorized December 4, 2015 1 Comment

This year’s NaNoWriMo felt more difficult. I guess each year’s challenge to write a 50K word novel in 30 days brings, well, new challenges. The beginning of the month found my family and I taking care of our tiny relative. She was 2 months old and delicious to cuddle for the time we had her. Then, of course, Thanksgiving. The thing I was the most thankful for this year was that I didn’t have to cook anything for Thanksgiving. I didn’t even have to clean house since we weren’t hosting. So that wasn’t too much of a distraction from writing. Right after Thanksgiving my parents and kids and I took an RV trip to the beach. So the last few days of Nano were spent trying to squeeze in words where I could. The RV park did not have Wifi so I used my cell phone’s hotspot, validated my 50,059 words and did the happy dance. I made it happen again! I do not love this story the same way I love The Home (my Nano 2014). Or maybe I love it differently.

My plan now? To get some serious editing done on The Home, which my Aunt Eileen has read and graciously offered to help me edit. She is sharing her expertise (my word, not hers) as I try and turn it into something I MAY consider sending to a publisher.

NaNo-2015-Winner-Banner

 

Throw-back Thursday: One boy, One girl

baby, memories August 13, 2015 1 Comment

I can still remember taking this picture.  I was pregnant for the third time and was due to be induced the very next day. We had no idea if this addition would be a girl or a boy and I remember looking at Foster and Katie and thinking “they have no idea what’s about to happen!”

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Homeschooling Year 8 – Part 2

homeschooling August 12, 2015 Leave a comment

In my last post, I described our core subjects.  I did not add our religious education and science or any arts, physical education or character building because as homeschoolers, most of that isn’t offered in a tidy curriculum.  You can buy curriculum for everything mind you, but we usually meet those areas in other ways.

So here’s the part 2 of our homeschooling year 8:

Religious education: Attend church! We are members of a local Baptist church that is pretty traditional in its schedule. There is a Sunday school class, Sunday morning service and Sunday evening service. Our kids love Sunday school for the friendships, the novelty of being taught by someone other than mom AND they love the crafts, doughnuts, bible lessons and taking turns to pray. Our church also has activities on Wednesday evenings for children and youth.  If you grew up in a Baptist church that had more than 40 people in it you may recognize the program names; GA’s, RA’s and Mission Friends. Usually in the winter, Bible drill practice is added on Sunday evenings. I appreciate my kids being able to participate in Bible drill because in our homeschool we are pretty laid back and there isn’t much memorizing going on.  Their brains are getting a good workout with the best content.

Arts: Chris is a natural artist, although he doesn’t spend much time drawing these days and he has a banjo that he desires to learn to play and actually can when he’s trying. I, on the other hand, well, I’m just not crafty. My creativity is limited to organization and words.  I suppose that’s why none of our children have taken formal music lessons at this point. We do tell them all the time that if they have the desire to learn to play any instrument we will support that.  I know very little about musical training, but I do know that my brother didn’t have formal music lessons but instead taught himself to play the keyboard, guitar, banjo as a teen and young adult, just because he had the desire to learn. I feel pretty confident that if my kids wake up one day and decide they want to learn, well, then they’ll figure out a way to get that done. The kids do attend children’s choir at our church and Katie has just joined the youth choir at a local college.  Katie, Theodore and Parker will also get a chance to start learning how to play hand bells at our church this fall. As far as other art forms, painting and those sorts of things, again there is not formal training. They draw and color and cut and paste and build beautiful creations every day. I gave Jonah a small sliver sparkled clothes pin to play with the other day and he runs to Theodore and Parker and says “Wook guys! It’s boot-i-ful!” And therein lies my defense that my kids are learning to recognize beauty in the world.

Science: Oh poor science.  Constantly planned for and never actually taught. I used to start each school year with a plan for science. I really did. This year though I completely left it off the assignment sheets and told the kids that we will add it in a little later in the semester. It was honest. Does that mean my children are not getting any science education? HA! This is how science goes down in our house.  We watched an episode of Reading Rainbow (I know. Thank you, Netflix. You have my heart.) the other day and it was about chain reactions. But it wasn’t boring and described like that…”chain reactions, blah, blah, blah”. No! It was reading If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and watching some guy build these awesome domino creations and knocking them down. After watching the episode a few times (it was fascinating stuff), they ended up with some old Jenga blocks and other wood blocks on the garage floor building and building and building.  Lots of trial and error and what made the blocks continuously fall down or what made them stop on turns. From there the kids begged us to watch domino YouTube videos and so we spent some time doing that. You think you know what people are up to out there in the domino world? Well, you have no idea. That is a good description of how science gets done around here. Natural learning, unschooling, whatever you want to call it.  Also, a couple of my boys are growing tomato plants and they hunt and fish and take care of a real live dog. So they get plenty of science, for now.

Physical Education: Again, the reason this subject would have to be planned out really escapes me. If someone asked “what about PE?” I would answer “Tell them to go outside.”  I would mean it too. They have a trampoline, a basketball goal, bikes. Children naturally want to move. Even the ones who don’t love to go outside, they like to roll on the floor or spin in their seat or jump on the couch. I think the only way you could not meet this requirement in the 13 and under crowd would be if you tied them up for 12 hours a day. Foster will be playing soccer this fall for parks and rec. So he’ll have practices and games.

Character building: Also known as parenting. If you are any parent worth your weight you’ll care to teach your kids to share, be kind with their words, don’t punch people, ask about others feelings, take initiative, practice self-control (like not punching people).  This is tied in with our religious education but is also just boiled down as much as possible around here. As in, if you don’t want someone to punch you, then don’t punch them. Don’t like getting your toys taken? Don’t take someone else’s toys. Pretty common sense stuff but this type of teaching is what the majority of my day is all about. I actually told one new homeschool mom I was talking to that this is THE biggest challenge in homeschooling. Not the price of curriculum or the fact that they are with you all the time. No, it’s the constant shaping of character. I have ages 3 to 11 in my house right now and when I talk about character building or putting out fires you may think I mean just the youngest kids? Oh no, even my intelligent, sweet, funny 11-year-old son has to reminded not to throttle the 3-year-old when he messes up his army men that he’s been working on for an hour.  And my super responsible 9-year-old girl? The whining and arguing that can come from her when she feels something is not fair. It’s ugly, folks. Just ugly. So I have to address this about a zillion times a day. That is a pretty big challenge considering I’m human too and have my own bad attitudes and ugliness that God points out to me. So, yep, turning them into decent human beings? That’s the hardest part of homeschooling.

As you can see from this post, homeschooling is far from getting together simple lessons plans. It’s really all about life. I have friends who have homeschooled and now their kids are in public school and ones who are on the flip side and are homeschooling for the first time this year. All of these parents want what’s best for their kids and doing the best with what they have. Which is exactly what I’m trying to do.

Homeschooling Year 8

homeschooling August 10, 2015 Comments: 3

We began our 8th year of homeschooling today. I have been looking forward to starting our schooling again because it’s been 4 months since I was able to do school with the kids. They did finish up the last month of school while I was having spinal fusion surgery and recovering, but I didn’t have a chance to teach them directly and I’ve been missing it!

As I prepared for the upcoming school year, I was reflecting on how much more confident I was in my curriculum choices, planning tactics, testing plans, etc. I feel like I felt when I had a third, fourth, fifth kid. Been there, done that. Mistakes in curriculum purchases, switching from the not testing camp to the testing camp, going with an umbrella program, turning off screens on school days…all of the changes we’ve had every school year have allowed for the preparation and beginning of this school year to be very smooth and positive. Of course, it has only been ONE day.

I have 2 readers and 3 non-readers this year. But not one child in diapers. I’m not nursing and I’m not pregnant. It truly feels like the beginning of a completely different world. I do rejoice in the fact that I’m able to write this while my children are awake (at least until I have to put out the next fire) it is a luxury that hasn’t been available to me for the past 11 years or so.  However, I’m spending a good portion of my free time researching and reading and praying about adoption and foster care.  I guess I’m not ready to throw a “I have no littles in my house party”.  I know I’m not, but more on that in a later post.

So what are my little darlings learning this year? I’ll lay it out for you.

Our 2015-2016 paths of study:

Foster (6th grade) –

Typing – Typing Instructor Platinum 21

Creative Writing – Minecraft story starters;  The Creative Writer

Spelling – All About Spelling Level 5

Latin – Visual Latin

Test Practice – Spectrum

Grammar – Easy Grammar

Math – Math-U-See Epsilon

Vocabulary – Wordly Wise

Reading, Literature, History and Geography – Sonlight

Katie (4th grade) –

Typing – Typing Instructor Platinum 21

Spelling – All About Spelling

Test Practice – Spectrum

Grammar – Easy Grammar

Math – Math-U-See Delta

Vocabulary – Wordly Wise

Phonics – Explode the Code

Handwriting – A Reason for Handwriting

Reading, Literature, History and Geography – Sonlight

Theodore (2nd/3rd grade) –

Reading – All About Reading

Math – Math-U-See Beta

Grammar – Easy Grammar

Phonics – Explode the Code

Handwriting – Draw-Write-Now

Test Practice – Spectrum

Sight word practice

Reading, Literature, History and Geography – Sonlight

Parker (1st grade) –

Reading – All About Reading

Math – Math-U-See Alpha

Grammar – Easy Grammar

Phonics – Explode the Code

Handwriting – Draw-Write-Now

Test Practice – Spectrum

Sight word practice

Reading, Literature, History and Geography – Sonlight

Jonah (Pre-K) –

All About Reading (Pre-Level)

Pre-K workbooks

Just fun preschool stuff!!!

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blog neglect and spinal fusion, among other things

scoliosis, spinal fusion July 29, 2015 Comments: 2

The pain of not blogging for 6 months is that there is way too much to catch up on in one post.

But, it’s more painful for me at this point to not blog. So I’ll catch up the lazy way.

My last post was in February 2015. I knew at that point that I would be facing major spinal fusion surgery in April and it really consumed my prayer and thought life. I also spent a lot of time preparing in a practical way, planning who would care for my children and making sure their schooling would continue through this huge disruption in our family.  In March, Chris and I celebrated our 13th anniversary.  Actually, we didn’t celebrate at all but rather went out to eat and to Target with our kids. I think. I just know at some point Chris looked at me and said “this doesn’t feel like much of an anniversary celebration does it?” To which I replied, “It’s our 13th year. It’s not supposed to be exciting.”

April 6th – I turned 39. I actually had a pretty good birthday considering it’s my last before 40 and I was one week away from being splayed open like a fish and having 2 titanium rods and 32 screws put in my back. Yum.

April 14th – I only remember that being in pre-op felt very long…I wanted the drugs already so I could just stop being anxious.  Then I remember feeling the worst pain and suffering I’ve ever felt when I was in the ICU.  I actually thought I was dying. I was so heavily drugged that I felt like I was drowning and a big, fat, mean male nurse would walk around me and I would yell as loud as I could but he just ignored me. That was a new kind of torture and loss of control I would not readily repeat. In reality, Chris has informed me there was a fat-man nurse but he wasn’t evil. Chris also said I could barely whisper because of the tube down the throat (technical term?) I had during surgery. I think that was for about 48 hours but you’d really have to ask someone who wasn’t so medicated that they couldn’t control their bodily functions.  I am not exaggerating here that the first time they made me sit on the side of the bed and try to stand about 24-48 hours after surgery was worse than having 5 children vaginally. PUT TOGETHER. A few of whom I delivered with no epidural.  And that was only the 10 minute window of trying to sit and stand with several people holding me up.  It was UGLY. I’m so glad my best friends were there to see me look like that.

I was in the hospital for about a week and then released! Yippee! The ride home was painful. But I was so glad to see and kiss my kids. And again, still heavily medicated. I had moved from the IV stuff to the pills but they were working. Unfortunately, less than 24 hours later I developed a fever and Chris (or possibly my mom) took me back to the ER. They told me I had pneumonia so I got to have another week bonus stay. Lucky duck.

When I was just 3 weeks out of surgery they started sending all kinds of in-home medical folks by, some to listen to my heart and look at my incision. Some to show me how to move again. Some to address my overall well-being. They all said I was doing great. I wanted to punch the PT gal in the face a few times but I didn’t. I just took my meds around the time she came and I liked her a lot better.

I basically had to wean myself off all the equipment a little at a time. First to go was the walker. Yes, at 39 I was using a walker. It was really sexy. Next, the raised toilet seat with handles. Then, the shower seat! I was so proud. I was finished with most of that stuff about 6 weeks out.

The next big hurdle was making myself walk. Everything I had read prior to surgery and all the doctors recommended walking as the surest way to a great recovery. I did it consistently from May until mid-June (another 6 weeks) at least 2 miles a day, then we had 20 days in June that were over 90 degrees and I wimped out. So I’m only sporadically walking these days.

Two weeks ago, 3 months post-op, I decided I would start to wean myself off the 2 pain medications I had been on since surgery. The doses were lower than they had been right after surgery but I am extremely sensitive to medication (and alcohol actually).  So I started cutting the little guys in half and started to experience some lovely withdrawal symptoms. Physically and mentally.  I have been very privileged, blessed, lucky (whatever you want to call it) to have never, until this point in my life, been addicted to any drugs or alcohol and because of that have never gone through detox.  Now that I have and possibly still am…I understand completely why someone would feel they could not stop.  The meds not only helped with pain, they were uppers mentally, they gave me energy and they suppressed my appetite. All wins. Except the narcotic addiction part. That part is not a win for anyone. Not me, not my family.  So, when I felt it was time I decided to kick it. The only way to do that was to be sure there were no more around. Otherwise, I would have given up about hour 72 and taken just “a little something” to help with the flu-like symptoms and the crazy, swirling thoughts.

I’m 8 days off the little darlings now.  My mind is still a mess, but honestly, I’m not sure that’s the drugs.  Spiritually, God has been WEARING me out. Topics like foster care, adoption, helping families, being the hands and feet, transparency, writing, homeschooling and on and on…but that’s another few posts.

I am thankful I was able to have the surgery. I do think it has helped my chronic pain from scoliosis that I lived with for years.  However, I still have days where I think it was the biggest mistake of my life, when I can hardly shave my legs or paint my toenails, I mourn my flexibility. Days where my strength runs out by 2pm. Where I feel the hardware do some weird shift and the nerves shoot lightening pain through areas. But I have to remember it is early yet. Hopefully by 6 months out I’ll feel different.

little old people

Uncategorized February 14, 2015 Leave a comment

Two nights ago our newly formed young adult Sunday school class had our first outing as a group. We had planned to put together a few little Valentine baskets or bags and deliver them to the shut-in members of our church. I think we ended up being able to minister to 13 of them in all. The baskets were nothing special, just some things that grandmas and grandpas would like, some Kleenex, chewing gum, crackers, chapstick. You know, little old people stuff. When I say “little old people”, my 11-year-old son corrects me, “that’s not nice.” The reality is I’m not trying to be mean. For me, it’s a term of endearment. I really love little old people. For years though, they scared me to death.

I think it started when I was a pre-teen/teenager and would have to go visit my Mamaw and Papaw at their house. We lived in the same town but never crossed paths unless we went to visit or they came over to babysit my baby brother. When I went to their house I was overwhelmed with cigarette smoke, load westerns blaring on the TV and my Papaw yelling “Murrr-belle get me a drink!” My Papaw was something else. While he always doted on me and I knew he thought I was wonderful, he was a rough man. He had a hard young adulthood and even harder childhood. From my side of town, and my fancy neighborhood and cushy, spoiled living with my two parents, visiting them was like stepping into an alternate universe. When I was younger, maybe under 10 or so, my cousins and I would run around and catch lightening bugs in the yard and beat each other up, Mamaw would give us Little Debbie cakes and cold milk and let us wash the dishes with chairs drawn up to the sink. Those memories were good ones. As I got older though, more self-centered as teens of the world tend to become, I was inconvenienced and quite offended if I was required to spend much time there. I was mouthy and disrespectful (at the time I felt I was gallant and righteous) telling my Papaw that he really needed to stop smoking and he really, really needed to stop yelling at my Mamaw. (She ceased to be his wife, but was my Mamaw in these exchanges.) So it was this platform through those teen years when I formed the opinion that little old people, while sweet, were unpredictable and stubborn and impossible to relate to.

I turned the corner when my Papaw passed away just a few weeks before Chris and I were married. I married into a family that had the most amazing matriarch and patriarch, Glenn and Kathleen Grubb. After a year of marriage, Chris and I joined the church where Granny and Grandpa Grubb were members. That meant that almost every Sunday we would get to worship with them, visit with them and they always had their home open to all the Grubbs for Christmas Eve and other birthday and holiday celebrations. I was fascinated by their history as a family. When I was pregnant with Foster, my firstborn, Granny and I attended a bible study at one of the ladies homes. I was in my 20’s with women who were much older. I remember one night so clearly, Granny was driving me to the bible study, she had picked me up on her way. We were talking about children and she told me that she had lost a baby. She had been far enough along that she had to deliver it at the hospital. It was one of those things that changed me. Here I was, about to deliver my first child and all along I had assumed that Granny had delivered 5 healthy children. I was shocked to be able to relate to someone so much older than me just as I would if she had been one of my best friends. I couldn’t have felt more empathy if it had been my own young friend dealing with that kind of loss. It was a turning point for me.

The circle of life really is very small and short. As I grow older, much closer to 40 now, I realize this more and more. Visiting with the women who were in their 80’s and 90’s, I could relate. They were me, not so long ago, rushing around to cook dinner and wipe snotty noses, getting hugs and kisses and sweet hugs from their husbands. Now they are alone, for the most part, but they all had a peace, a sweet spirit that could only come from knowing they aren’t truly alone. That they may be seen by the world as “little old people” but to God they are beautiful saints.