And last, but not least, a Keurig for Mommy. (He knows me so well.)
top ten reasons NOT to join a homeschool co-op
Whether you are a beginning homeschooler or seasoned pro, you probably have an opinion about homeschooling support groups (often called a co-op).
Here are my top ten reasons you should NOT join a homeschool co-op.
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THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT BEING PAID. A homeschool support group is usually completely run by volunteers (aka: other homeschooling parents). If you are looking for a professionally, smoothly run organizational hierarchy of power that will hear your concerns and then quickly change the way things are handled, you’ve come to the wrong place. These moms, dads, grandparents, guardians have children in their homes that they are striving to educate and they take time away from their own families, jobs, etc. to volunteer to make the support group work.
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NOT EVERYONE THINKS LIKE YOU DO. Just because you have decided to homeschool does not mean that every homeschooling family thinks like you do. The exponential growth of homeschooling in the past few years is due in part to what “homeschooling” looks like to different families. Traditionally, people expect homeschool families to have mom at home, dad at work, 4 or more kids working diligently at little desks, evangelical Christians and conservative (read: Republican) views. In reality, you will be in a homeschool co-op with any number of different families. It might be a mom with one child or a mom with 8. It may be a mom who works from home or a mom who works outside the home. It may be a family with internationally adopted kids or ones with special needs. It may be a Jewish family or a liberal family. It may be a family who believes in Creationism or one who believes in evolution.
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THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES YOUR CHILD WILL MAKE FRIENDS. A homeschool support group will have plenty of opportunities to get your child involved with similar ages and grades as your kids. There are once a week enrichment classes, American Heritage Girls, Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts, homeschool gymnastics or swimming classes, just to name a few. Like any friendship though, it will take time for your child to build relationships. Don’t expect to sign up for enrichment classes and your child to come home with a new best friend the first day. Children tend to build relationships with other children that they are around often (like church, neighborhood, sports teams, etc.). We have to consistently provide them with those opportunities if we expect them to have blossoming friendships.
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THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES YOUR CHILD WILL MAKE FRIENDS THAT YOU LIKE. Feeling as though this is redundant? Well, the flip side to your kid not making friends is that they could pair up with a boy or girl whose family just isn’t a fit with your family. At that point, you have to decide how that friendship will proceed or IF it will proceed. We can’t be so close-minded that we don’t want to be friends with people of a different background or faith. We also can’t be so blind as to be friends with people who are growing recreational drugs in their back lot. It’s all about balance.
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THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES YOU WILL MAKE FRIENDS. Ouch! What do you mean? Aren’t we all just homeschooling moms? Can’t we all just get along? Ummm…nope. Like the time it takes your children to build relationships, so also it takes grown-ups time to find their “group” of buddies. To someone just coming in it may appear “cliquish” (or “cluckish”) but in reality these folks have been together awhile. Whether they were co-workers 11 years ago, go to the same the church now, or have been in co-op since their kids were wearing pull-ups, they have history. Every year, as I said before, homeschooling is growing. More than likely you are not the only new person in a co-op that school year or semester. Reach out and say things like, “Hey my name is Susie Q and I’m new to this crazy scene.” There IS a guarantee that you will find someone who will respond to that genuine remark.
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THIS ISN’T YOUR CHURCH. Please don’t join a co-op assuming that you will be free to make blanket statements such as, “People who don’t go to xyz church are going straight to hell.” Some support groups will have their members sign a “statement of faith” but this isn’t to be sure that only Pre-Millennial Backwoods Resurrected Holy Ghost church members are allowed in. It’s more of a “we believe in God, not Satan worshipping, so if you do too, that’s cool” type of statement.
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THIS ISN’T A CHURCH (OR A GOVERNMENT AGENCY). A homeschool support group typically has a board of members (volunteers) and a few other folks in leadership positions to keep things running smoothly. There is not a preacher/minister/pastor for you to go to when your feelings are hurt. There isn’t a complaint report for you to file when you get let down by fellow members. Homeschool support groups operate under the idea and belief that because we have proclaimed ourselves mature enough to educate our own children, that we can also handle our own petty grievances how we see fit. Don’t like the group? Find another. Don’t like what that teen is wearing? Pull them aside and politely remind them of the dress code. Don’t like that the toddler is unrolling whole rolls of toilet paper in the bathroom unsupervised? Step one: clean it up. Step two: Find it’s momma or daddy and give a report of the behavior. Step three: WALK AWAY.
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A CO-OP MEANS WE COOPERATE. I know. I’m so profound. A huge part of a homeschool co-op are the enrichment classes. Almost all classes are taught by homeschooling parents and each semester a wide variety of classes are offered. However, co-op classes are not meant to be a substitute for teaching your child things you don’t want to take the time to teach them. I’m not a big science person, my type A personality breaks down when I don’t have all the ingredients needed for the project and then when we do take the time and the experiment is a flop I feel like screaming and throwing something. Needless to say, I won’t be the one to volunteer to teach co-op science classes. I will be the one to sign my kids up for anything remotely related to science so that I can supplement at home with great science read-alouds and field trips. Have there been semesters when I’ve looked at the classes offered and though “awww man, the classes we need aren’t being offered or it won’t work out with our schedule”? Of course, but I don’t have the right to pitch a hissy fit about it. A more constructive way is to go up to that member that you know rocks and loves science (or art, or literature) and say “hey, have you thought about using your awesome gifts to teach a class on _____ ? Maybe I could be your inept but willing assistant.”
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MEMBERSHIP DUES COME WITH A PRICE. Believe it or not, that $16 a year that you pay to be a member of a homeschool co-op is not enough to pay for all the jobs that need to be done to get a huge group of families and kids together once a week. Jobs like nursery, cleaning up, setting-up for lunch, cleaning up, hall monitoring, manning the front table (aka: the info hub), cleaning up, assisting teachers, cleaning up, bathroom monitor and so on all are VOLUNTEER positions. Just scale this down to your own family or your family and one other. Picture getting together for a play-date or educational project. Let’s say there are 7 kids between you. After a few hours, the things that need to be cleaned up and taken care of are pretty hefty. Now multiply that by 100. And it’s all day. And we are using a FREE church facility. So if you pay your fee and think you’re done, you are wrong, you really just paid for someone to tell you how you can do your part.
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YOU WILL BE SUPPORTED EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T ASK FOR IT. If you don’t want to have a group of people who will make you meals when you have a baby, babysit your babies when your husband is in the hospital, pray for you and ask how you are, then a homeschool co-op is not for you. Without even knowing it’s happening, when you need it the most, you are surrounded by a group of people who want to help you deal with all the crap that goes down in life. Because they have dealt with it, too. Our support group has brought us meals, prayed for us, babysat for FREE, emailed, called, given us gifts, encouraged us, uplifted us all without request. In other words, they have been our SUPPORT.
30 days of thanks: day 30
I’m thankful that I am getting well. My kids, on the other hand, are getting sick. I start to get overwhelmed when I have more than 2 of them coughing, running a fever, complaining of a headache, and just generally miserable.
I had to adjust my thinking. This could be the normal for us instead of just a 2 or 3 time a year thing. None of my children are chronically ill. They are exceptionally healthy, out of 5 children our list of allergies are as follows: sulfa drugs and band-aids. They don’t have any food allergies, they sleep well, eat well. As we go through our tenth box of Kleenex and a gallon of Gatorade in the next few days, I will remember that we have so much to be thankful for.
I’m thankful for this past 30 days of thanks series. I am sure in the future when I get short-sighted and grumpy, it will do me some good to read how blessed I am.
I’m thankful that tomorrow I get to spend time with my husband, children, parents, brother and extended family.
Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. 1 Chronicles 16:34
30 days of thanks: day 29
I’m thankful…
…for little boys who like to dress up…
…for a little girl who likes to pose for pictures…
…for time together.
30 days of thanks: day 28 (a little late)
Well, I almost made it the whole 30 days. So here’s yesterday’s thanks a little late.
I (was) am thankful for:
- kleenex
- peppermint extract
- tylenol
- kleenex
- my husband
- my kiddos
- prayer
- that I’m alive
My head is still hurting this morning and I’ve had a total of about 3.5 hours sleep since last Thursday night. My prayer is that I can kick this thing so it will stop getting in the way of spending time with Chris and the kids. I am not a pleasant sick person. (I get that from my dad.)
30 days of thanks: day 27
This sickness has gotten to my throat, my voice is hardly there and it hurts when I try to talk. I cough and hack and basically try not to swallow. One thing that I have noticed is I need to try talking less when I am well.
This is the conversation between Katie (7) and Theodore (5) while they ate and I sat at the other end of the table and sipped ginger ale.
Katie: “Daddy’s giving Jonah a bath.”
Theodore: “Weah, I know.”
Katie: “Let’s just say that it would be really hard for a mom to be sick and her husband to be gone on a long trip and she has to take care of FIVE kids all by herself. That would be really hard.”
Theodore: “Like Mommy is sick and Daddy’s going on a big trip and her’s gonna have to take care of all FIVE tids by herself. {pause} {big smile} But her will be OK because her has GOD in her heart.”
Ummm…yeah I know. Sniff, sniff.
THAT is what I’m thankful for.
30 days of thanks: day 26
I’m thankful…
- I’m finally learning how to keep my mouth shut
- for popcorn
- for ginger ale
- for ice cream
- that my sickness is temporary and not chronic
- for second chances
- for gentleness
- for a daughter who tells me she is praying I will feel better
30 days of thanks: day 25
I’m thankful for:
- good health insurance
- good doctors
- antibiotics
- NyQuil
- family and friends
Today I feel horrible. I started getting sick earlier this week and by last night I felt like I was swallowing broken glass. As I snuggled under my covers, fighting off chills today I thought about how thankful I am that I have a soft bed, warm blankets and a place to call home. I may physically be worn down and feeling lousy, but spiritually and mentally I’m praising God for all He has done and continues to do for me.
30 days of thanks: day 24
I’m thankful for:
“Super Parker”
I’m thankful…
…McKenna is finally here!
I’m thankful…
…for big sister helping little brother.
I’m thankful…
…for big brother helping little brother. (Jonah was OUT.)
All the Little Grubbs 