There we are. Aren’t we cute? And young? And thin? Well, time passes, and with it comes all those ups and downs of life that you can expect.  Job changes, home changes, addition of children, loss of parents or grandparents. I am proud that we have been married for 8 years (9 this March). I love my husband.  This past New Year’s Eve was the anniversary of when we met 10 years ago. It’s a good story, I’ll have to share it with you soon, probably around anniversary time. 

What’s on my mind today, though, is this – being a wife vs. being a mother.  I have struggled with this for almost 7 years.  I know what kind of wife I should be, how biblically I am to put my husband first, second only to God.  We did some great pre-marital counseling where we talked all about our love languages and how hard it would be once we added children to our little family of 2.  So I really can’t say that I don’t know.  However, it’s kind of like losing weight. It seems to be a simple equation right? Eat less + exercise more = nice body. Well, plug in marriage variables. Affection + respect = happy hubby.

So why is this so hard? Of course, just like with weight loss, there can be many different roadblocks.  Here are a few things that I think get in the way of the equation factoring out well. 

1) Kids…their needs are immediate and never-ending, their responses instantly rewarding, they are extremely forgiving.
2) Time…again, it’s filled with kids or housework or bill paying or blogging
3) Resources…for dates, for vacations, for lingerie, for gifts. When resources are limited you have to make an extra effort to connect.
4) Energy…ummm I’m tired. A lot.
5) Desire…I desire my husband, but at the end of the day what I desire more is just sleep and food and QUIET.

So there it is, all my excuses.  I am reading a book now called Intimate Issues.  I am hoping to get some inspiration on how I can keep my husband higher on my priority list.

I want him to know how much I love him.  How much I appreciate how hard he works for our family and what a great daddy he is, how he makes me laugh and helps me come back to earth from my living in the clouds ideas. 

Mostly, I want us to look like this in a few years…