I had a birthday this month. It was April 6th and I turned 34. Every year right around my birthday my husband will ask me “so do you feel older?” and usually my bright and cheery answer is “NOPE!” This year, however, I did/do feel older and I am convinced it has been mostly because of all of the major events that have taken place over the last year. Last April, my mother-in-law passed away unexpectedly at age 58. My 4th child was born in July and I was very sick for almost a month in the fall. Then in January my husband spent 3 1/2 weeks in the hospital, he was out of work for 6 weeks total. And the weather, oh the terrible, awful long winter. I wish I could be more accepting of the cold, dreary weather but I really think I have a negative physiological reaction to it. In March, as spring came in and the warmth and sun started to soak into my bones I could see the light at the end of this past year’s tunnel. But I have been struggling for awhile and don’t expect everything to just be rosy immediately. Spiritually I am parched, relationally I am challenged. I am trying to take care of myself in ways that I have long neglected. Time for myself, by myself. Time with God in His word. Eating healthier and exercising. I think when I became a wife and mother I just accepted that I would have to sacrifice all there was to “me” and it’s been a long 8 years of making allowances and accepting things that have ultimately led to being unable to be an excellent wife and mother, as well as a friend, daughter and sister. I am making small changes and I am thankful that God is allowing me the time here to learn how to serve Him and serve my family and to (at the same time) relearn what it means to just be me.