Category Archives: organizing

Family Meeting

children, Family, gratitude, homeschooling, motherhood, organizing, parenting, priorities, reading, siblings, Summer June 6, 2016 1 Comment

If I had to name two things that bring me joy they would be organization and change. I happen to think these are good qualities that enable me to be able to thrive in chaotic, stressful environments. My poor husband on the other hand really likes for things to be predictable. I don’t think he knew what he was getting himself into when he met me 15  years ago. Even when we were first married and we would be working different shifts or days, he would come home and the furniture would be rearranged and the plates moved to a different cabinet. I would be fired up about a new plan for getting a pet, moving, a new place to buy groceries or new budget spreadsheet. Bless him.

I have tried hard for his sake to limit these changes and he’s done an awesome job at realizing that his wife isn’t trying to make him crazy, she just loves change.

When it comes to having children in your home, whether its one child or eight children, organization and change are imperative. Now, I am not saying that consistency goes out the window. All children flourish with consistency. What I’m talking about is organizing environments and schedules and being willing to change methods and plans.

For example, yesterday morning I called a family meeting with the kids. There were 3 major discussions we needed to have; chores, schoolwork/reading time, “that’s not fair”.

In the area of chores, our kids have a good amount of responsibility. Now that everyone is getting older, I’ve added a few more to their list. We talked about combining a few chores and made assignments for the next week or two. For example, Foster has laundry and bathroom #2. He is responsible for washing, drying, putting away all the laundry. He also wipes down the bathroom sink, mirror, toilet at least once a day. He only has to scrub the tub if it needs it.

The second thing we discussed was the expectation that they need to either work on schoolwork (we never finish Math in a typical school year) or read for one hour before they have any screen time or friend time. With breakfast, chores and reading time they should be done by about 10:30 am and that leaves the next 8 hours for them to be free and have fun.

The third item on the agenda was about attitudes. We discussed how much we have in way of toys, clothes, safety, security and comfort compared to other children. We talked about gratitude and not comparing what someone else gets to what we get. In our home, we have lots of discussion regarding “sometimes its your turn and sometimes its not”. This week Foster was able to spend extra time with visiting family and go to the science museum. Katie got to go with them to the Lost Sea. The younger boys got to go to Chick-fil-a (like go inside and play, which is a rare treat).

This understanding is imperative in our family because not everyone is the same age and maturity level. And the gap will just continue to widen as everyone gets older. When Foster gets a phone or is able to drive the younger boys will still just be 12, 10 and 8 years old. They’re going to have to see him with a lot of privilege and freedom that will be years off for them. In keeping with that, I told them that if I hear “that’s not fair” in any form, like “but he got to, Katie got more than me, I didn’t get a turn,” then they would get a check mark on the white board in the kitchen. Each check mark equals 5 minutes earlier bedtime.

When we have these family meetings, I try to keep the list of items or things we’re changing or working on down to 3 or 4 items so that the kids don’t get overwhelmed and the expectations are clear.

The kids really respond well to these meetings. They will chime in with their own ideas and opinions. They are willing to be flexible and try new routines and rules. Each time I make these changes in the house, I’m showing them that they can learn new things and change their own attitudes. Chris and I are trying to teach them that a family is a team. We work together and not against each other. When we do work together, we feel closer and we can accomplish more.

 

we did it! (well Chris did it)

daddy, organizing September 21, 2012 Comments: 2

I want to say we did it because I did help. In all honesty though, my super cool hubby did it!

DRUM ROLL PLEASE…..

Presenting the triple bunk, handcrafted by Chris with just a few free plans off this site.

 

The boys are so excited! Later we will get some matching spreads and possibly paint the beds. For now, I love all the space it has made for them to play on the floor.

I am so proud of my husband. I don’t know many men who would take the time and effort to build beds for his boys on top of working full time, going to school and getting ready for a deployment. I am blessed. He didn’t even yell at me when I broke one of his drill bits and burnt the motor out on the electric sander. (I told you I helped!)

stuff

blessings, homemaking, organizing, priorities August 5, 2012 Leave a comment

Our to-do list seems really long right now. We’re trying to get the new house ready by painting and cleaning, buying essentials.  By essentials, I mean a refrigerator, not curtains. We are packing at the old house and selling a lot of STUFF. 

I’m not sure what feels so freeing about selling stuff.  It isn’t the cash coming in that makes it such a great feeling.  Well, that’s part of it, but you can’t get to hung up on it because you aren’t going to get even a fraction of what you paid, what it’s worth or what you “feel” it should be worth. In fact, I feel grateful when people will come unload this stuff out of my life and I get space and cash where it used to be.  I have figured out that the simplicity of having less stuff is what is really freeing. 

Psychologically, when I go to the new house and the walls are freshly painted and the furniture is sparse and there isn’t something piled in every corner, my soul breathes a big sigh of relief. I’ve always known that I love to be organized. What I am learning as I get older is it’s not an anal retentive kind of “everything has to be so-so” kind of organized. It’s a less-is-more kind of organized.

Here’s the rub…I have 5 children and a husband, and currently 6 mounted deer heads (we’ll consider those our pets).  So while I may function better, have more peace of mind in a less-is-more world, my big family can make that a challenge. Even if each of the 7 of us (the deer heads don’t actually take more than wall space) have only a little that is “ours” and “ours” alone that adds up to a lot.

Here are some ways that I am striving to keep more balance in the amount of STUFF we have:

1. Toys.  I actually have been very selective from the moment I had my first baby on what we will keep around.  I try to avoid toys that have a limited amount of ways to play with it. There are only so many things you can do with a 2 foot tall, singing, dancing Elmo.  I know those kids on the commercials look like they are having a blast, but remember how long commercials are? Yeah, that’s about the length of the entertainment value. Along with that I try to avoid things that have batteries, a charger, or need any kind of electricity. For one, batteries are expensive and it’s almost impossible to explain to a 2 year old why Elmo just won’t sing and dance anymore. What I do try to keep around are toys that have multiple uses. In our home, we have plenty of Legos, wood blocks, costumes, toy weapons, matchbox cars, trains, cooking toys, dollhouse and supplies, play-do, arts and crafts and books.

2. Clothes. This one is more difficult. In the past, I have tried to keep our hand-me-downs that were from our family or given to us by someone. I will also find really great deals at yard sales and consignment sales that are hard to pass up. But, I’ve come to realize that God always provides what we need, when we need it. It never ceases to amaze me how God cares about the details of our lives. I need to keep a detailed record of what we actually spend one year to clothe and put shoes on these kids. I think it would be amazing to look back and see how little we have had to spend. For now, I’m trying to limit the number of shirts, shorts, etc. each child has in their drawers. This helps us need less dresser space (and less huge dressers).

3. Kitchen and household. How many pots and pans does one family need? Within the past couple of years we’ve been handed down a lot of kitchen ware and household items. While I try to be thankful and keep it around “just in case” I have had to just pass most of it along by donating it or selling it.
It’s hard to let go of furniture, especially if it’s nice furniture but this is a big one. Lots of furniture means less space to just lay on the floor and play a game or wrestle with Daddy. If I ever want more square footage in a home, this is why, I just need some space. So if our house is a little smaller for while then we’ll just sell some furniture. (Or beg my mom and dad to store it at their house!)

4. Electronic gadgets. Sigh. Even though we only have one TV, and limited electronics as a family, this feels like a never-ending battle. Screen time and all that it sucks out of life are something I try to balance for my kids and myself. I’m sure there’s some deeper stuff there that I need to figure out. In the meantime, I try not to give away too much space to all those little gadgets.

As I write this, the irony of it hits me.

I am so rich, living in such a rich country that I actually have a problem with having too much stuff. I am thankful for that problem. I am thankful that it’s not trying to find food, clean water or a safe, place to shelter my children.

 
“Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.” 1 Timothy 6:6-7