We found a place. It was a foreclosure. It’s smaller than what some people say a 7 person family needs, but it’s a mansion to most of the world. It needed some TLC, paint, floors, appliances, fixtures…
"Love is unselfishly choosing for another's highest good." – C.S. Lewis
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
― Albert Einstein
Our to-do list seems really long right now. We’re trying to get the new house ready by painting and cleaning, buying essentials. By essentials, I mean a refrigerator, not curtains. We are packing at the old house and selling a lot of STUFF.
I’m not sure what feels so freeing about selling stuff. It isn’t the cash coming in that makes it such a great feeling. Well, that’s part of it, but you can’t get to hung up on it because you aren’t going to get even a fraction of what you paid, what it’s worth or what you “feel” it should be worth. In fact, I feel grateful when people will come unload this stuff out of my life and I get space and cash where it used to be. I have figured out that the simplicity of having less stuff is what is really freeing.
Psychologically, when I go to the new house and the walls are freshly painted and the furniture is sparse and there isn’t something piled in every corner, my soul breathes a big sigh of relief. I’ve always known that I love to be organized. What I am learning as I get older is it’s not an anal retentive kind of “everything has to be so-so” kind of organized. It’s a less-is-more kind of organized.
Here’s the rub…I have 5 children and a husband, and currently 6 mounted deer heads (we’ll consider those our pets). So while I may function better, have more peace of mind in a less-is-more world, my big family can make that a challenge. Even if each of the 7 of us (the deer heads don’t actually take more than wall space) have only a little that is “ours” and “ours” alone that adds up to a lot.
Here are some ways that I am striving to keep more balance in the amount of STUFF we have:
1. Toys. I actually have been very selective from the moment I had my first baby on what we will keep around. I try to avoid toys that have a limited amount of ways to play with it. There are only so many things you can do with a 2 foot tall, singing, dancing Elmo. I know those kids on the commercials look like they are having a blast, but remember how long commercials are? Yeah, that’s about the length of the entertainment value. Along with that I try to avoid things that have batteries, a charger, or need any kind of electricity. For one, batteries are expensive and it’s almost impossible to explain to a 2 year old why Elmo just won’t sing and dance anymore. What I do try to keep around are toys that have multiple uses. In our home, we have plenty of Legos, wood blocks, costumes, toy weapons, matchbox cars, trains, cooking toys, dollhouse and supplies, play-do, arts and crafts and books.
2. Clothes. This one is more difficult. In the past, I have tried to keep our hand-me-downs that were from our family or given to us by someone. I will also find really great deals at yard sales and consignment sales that are hard to pass up. But, I’ve come to realize that God always provides what we need, when we need it. It never ceases to amaze me how God cares about the details of our lives. I need to keep a detailed record of what we actually spend one year to clothe and put shoes on these kids. I think it would be amazing to look back and see how little we have had to spend. For now, I’m trying to limit the number of shirts, shorts, etc. each child has in their drawers. This helps us need less dresser space (and less huge dressers).
3. Kitchen and household. How many pots and pans does one family need? Within the past couple of years we’ve been handed down a lot of kitchen ware and household items. While I try to be thankful and keep it around “just in case” I have had to just pass most of it along by donating it or selling it.
It’s hard to let go of furniture, especially if it’s nice furniture but this is a big one. Lots of furniture means less space to just lay on the floor and play a game or wrestle with Daddy. If I ever want more square footage in a home, this is why, I just need some space. So if our house is a little smaller for while then we’ll just sell some furniture. (Or beg my mom and dad to store it at their house!)
4. Electronic gadgets. Sigh. Even though we only have one TV, and limited electronics as a family, this feels like a never-ending battle. Screen time and all that it sucks out of life are something I try to balance for my kids and myself. I’m sure there’s some deeper stuff there that I need to figure out. In the meantime, I try not to give away too much space to all those little gadgets.
As I write this, the irony of it hits me.
I am so rich, living in such a rich country that I actually have a problem with having too much stuff. I am thankful for that problem. I am thankful that it’s not trying to find food, clean water or a safe, place to shelter my children.
I am linking up with Passionate and Creative Homemaking today to talk about what homemaking looks like at our house.
I’ll start off by saying that when I was growing up, my mom worked outside the home, yet it seemed almost all of the homemaking was HER responsibility. Well, hers and mine. From my perspective, my dad would work (sometimes late hours in retail) and then would come home, plant himself in front of the t.v. in his favorite brown recliner and still be there when I went to bed hours later. Going back one more generation, my Mamaw (maternal grandmother), waited hand and foot on my Papaw. I will always be able to hear him yelling “Mary Bell!” (pronounced Murr-bell), as he beckoned her from another room to hand him something that was less than 3 feet away.
When my husband and I were engaged we went to pre-marital counseling with a Christian counselor. She had us fill in workbooks that had a lot to do with our expectations and then we would calmly discuss scream and cry in her office until we came to some compromise. It was really helpful. But not because we worked all that out and had a plan as to who would do the dishes, who would wash the laundry, etc. It was helpful because it showed us that he had one set of ideas about how things should go and I had a COMPLETELY different idea. Which really sort-of prepared us for the first few ten years of our marriage.
We will be celebrating our tenth year of marriage on March 22nd this year. And at this point in our lives, this is what homemaking looks like.
It has taken us all of our marriage to get to this point. As our family has grown, as we have matured and our relationship and love has grown deeper, the way homemaking looks in our family has changed many times. Thankfully, God loves us and continues to honor our desire to have a stable, Christian home. The most consistent aspect to our homemaking is that it is always changing!