Doesn’t it feel good to purge the stuff in your life? I’ve always gotten a thrill out of cleaning out and getting boxes and bags of stuff ready to donate.

Yesterday Chris and I spent a couple of hours going through our closet. He needed to get rid of things that didn’t fit anymore (because he’s lost so much weight) and things that he had been wearing for the past 10 years.

I needed to get rid of the things that didn’t fit anymore (not because I’ve lost weight) and things I wore mostly when I was nursing a baby or were given to me and just aren’t my style.

This part of the process wasn’t very painful.  It was a little depressing realizing I couldn’t keep a skirt or two because I couldn’t get them zipped up around my muffin top but all in all not such a bad experience.

It was the shopping later in the day that was horrid.

I have realized that I am in some strange “in-between” stage of life.

I went to the Juniors section, loving all the cute tops and dresses there. I picked up a dress. I got a large, after all, I’m no junior and knew I should be realistic.

Then I traveled around the endless path of women’s fashion and came to a skirt I really liked. It was in the Women’s section so I got a medium, I found a dress and picked up a large.

At this point, I was getting a little stressed. I could tell I was headed down a bad road because everything I saw seemed like it was something an old lady would wear.

I couldn’t exactly go back to the Junior’s section and try to pull off $90 skinny jeans that had been pre-ripped, faded and torn, either.

I finally had enough to warrant the dreaded trip to the dressing room.

My sweet husband had been following me the whole time, holding a sports bra and nightgown and handful of undies. He finally got a cart so he could troll behind me with my purse and list.

From time to time he had to dodge over-perfumed, white haired women who were on a mission to make the most of this one-day sale.

I went into the dressing room, promising Chris I would show him my selections once I got them on, knowing the poor man didn’t realize what he was asking.

I put on the junior dress, size large and was immediately sickened by the sight of a middle aged mom of 5 trying to look like she was 17. Yikes, it was ugly.

But I kept my word and slinked to the hall of the dressing room where Chris was standing right outside the door. I’m not sure what he said, my self deprecating thoughts drowning it all out.

I returned to the dressing room and had a brief moment of panic as I realized I might not be able to get this stupid dress off without ripping off the sleeves.

This continued with the women’s large which was too big and the dress that showed my 5 kids in 7 years belly.

I was in tears as I came out of the dressing room. I took the hug and encouragement offered by Chris. I tried not to lash out at him and just said “I need to get out of this place.”

And we did, we left the evil world of women’s clothing where a 37 year old gets stuck in the in-between of not young enough, not old enough, not thin enough and not fashionable enough.

We left and went back into our world, where my husband thinks I’m beautiful and my kids adore my squishiness and God reminds me that I am His no matter what I’m wearing.