We were out late last night. Putting the kiddos in their beds close to 10pm. (Yes, that’s late around here.)

So now I have had almost an hour of peace to read other blogs and to think.  Which might not be a good thing, because I have a lot to think about right now.

We’ve moved. While I have talked about that a few times, I haven’t been able to fully express how moving is a blessing and a curse all at the same time. I thrive on organization. I am not so anal that I don’t let my kids pull their toys out all over the house throughout the day but when it’s time to clean up I want everything back in it’s place. It just helps my brain. Instead of organization, I have piles of cardboard boxes and Tupperware containers everywhere and deer heads stacked on tables in the garage where my van should be parked. I have cluttered closets and a huge lovely pantry that is in complete disarray. 

My dad is sick. While this is mainly his story and not mine it does/will affect me so I will write about it. My dad is young. He won’t be 58 until December. He has swollen lymph nodes throughout his body. They are saying it’s probably cancer. And that just really sucks.

My husband is leaving.  I’m not supposed to talk about it. We are a military family, but he’s not had a long (more than 2 months) deployment since I was pregnant with kid number 3 over 5 years ago. But now he does have a long deployment coming up and it’s not to Hawaii.

My self. How old do you have to be before you can say you are having a mid-life crisis? Why do they call it that anyway? No one knows how long their life will be. If I only live to be 72 then this is my year. I guess I could call it post-partum junk but again my “baby” will be a year old on Sept. 28th so that feels a little like a cop out, too. What it really is I guess is I have all these bad habits that I need to replace with new, better habits. Then maybe I could lose a little weight, have a little less acne (which is worse now than when I was 16), get more sleep and feel less depressed.

I don’t know. I really just don’t know. It feels like my mantra right now. I find myself saying that about a thousand times a day.