Parker (2 yrs. 6 mos.)

Oh that magical age. You know the one. Where your child is starting to want to do all the important things by themselves.  Well, everything except take care of their own bodily functions.  Who needs a toilet when you can just go in your diaper anywhere you please?  Who needs a Kleenex when you can just let the snot flow into your mouth as you eat your snack?  Why cover that cough as you kiss your baby brother?  Those things should be handled by the grown-ups.

At the ripe old age of 2 1/2 – Parker would like to make all the decisions when it comes to what he eats, what he wears, where he sits, what he plays with, where we drive in the van, etc. And woe to the one who tries to have a different opinion.  I have had 3 children go through the 2 1/2 – 3 1/2 year so far and I don’t think it has made it any easier.  They wear you out.  Well, if you are trying to discipline them and want to turn them into decent humans that you are glad live in your family, then they wear you out.  The whole process does.

There are a few things that help with this age range.

First, always give choices.  Does that sound like you are giving the kid his way? Nope. Not at all. You just have to be sure that when you give choice A and choice B (no more than 2 for this age) that both A and B will have a parent approved end result. For example: Chris had guard duty last weekend and could not attend church with us.  Foster and Katie scampered off to their Sunday School classes, and I was left with Theodore, Parker and lugging Jonah in his car seat. We needed to cross a street to get from the parking lot to their building and Parker (smart fellow he is) decided he wasn’t about to go across the street because he knew I would be leaving him in his class.  I said “let’s go Parker.” And he said “No! My not want to!” I said in an upbeat voice, “Parker do you want to hold mommy’s hand or Theodore’s hand to cross the street.” He said “mommy’s hand.” HA! I got him! (It’s the small victories in life.)  The point is if you want your toddler to be compliant you need to get creative.

Second, if it’s cute once it’s always cute.  Don’t naively think that if your little boy pulls down his diaper and pees in the floor or your little girl dumps a bowl of cereal on her head that this is a one time entertainment for the family.  If you don’t want your kid to behave that way all the time then address the misbehavior immediately and with consequence. “No, little Johnny, we don’t pee in the floor – we pee in the potty. Now you clean up the mess and go sit in time-out.” Then, later, laugh with your hubby and post it on facebook. This can start very young. All of my babies have tried smacking at my face with their cute baby hands. I immediately grab their hand and say sternly “No, no hitting mommy. That’s not funny.” And it’s not cute either.

Third, be consistent.  I know you have probably heard that about parenting a million times but with this age consistency can be your greatest strength or your biggest weakness.  Children thrive on routine.  Everything is so new to them everyday that the consistency that you provide by responding the same way to their behavior is a comfort to them.  They get overwhelmed by all this new information and knowing what comes next, even when it may be a consequence is actually a relief.
We have some very basic house rules that even our little beginning walkers can understand. One of them is “No throwing toys or books.” If Parker throws a toy he goes to time-out. He sits there for 3 minutes (I round up) and then when the timer beeps I ask him “What did Parker do?” he usually says “my throwed toy” or “my don’t know.” I will say “we don’t throw toys. Our house rules say ‘no throwing toys.'” If he has hit anyone with the thrown toy he must go and apologize for hurting them.  If you have spent much time with toddlers, they throw toys a lot.  But even if he gets up and does it again in 5 minutes we go through the same routine.  Every. Time.

Yes, it can get tiring. The fruits of being consistent with your toddlers, though, are seen in your pre-schoolers and older children.  We like our kids, we enjoy being with them because we have invested the time in teaching them how to follow basic house rules and basic God rules.